evergreen

my hands point palm up to the sun, pushing away the ugly. i could have been pristine and care free, spiraling and lifting myself further away from the lead of my feet but i’m stuck.

you hold me here, you see my potential but you can’t stand to let me grow. my roots are too far down in the dirt to even know what the sun feels like anymore. all that is left is the untouched and built-up limbs that hold more life than my arms ever could. i’m only strong because i am weak.

i only face my fears because i am brave enough to look them in the eyes. it makes me fearless to be fearful.

reassurance of my stature among the clouds, i’ve lived like this for so long that the only thing i fear is me.

i’ve hidden the ugly underneath the surface of the soil. i don’t lose my leaves because i don’t let anyone see my skeleton.

i tell myself repeatedly to not let this tree be anything more than evergreen. but opening up is healthy, it whispers in and out of my ears like a breeze. with each gust, growing stronger and stronger. rain now falls, battering from every side. my roots are lifting.

“open up, it’ll be okay”

until i collapse

if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

“evergreen” showcases my fear of vulnerability. the tree is personified as my frailness, the susceptibility to crumble no matter what barriers are raised. constantly being exposed to the elements of sun and wind and rain demonstrate the walls being up but not being impenetrable. it explores the sense of self-reassurance to convince everyone and myself that i am strong, the further i push everything away the stronger i am. but false allusions lead to it falling, with nothing to soften the landing.

however you’d like to interpret it though is up to you

-`meghan t

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